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One-Shot...Thoughts?

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One-Shot...Thoughts?

Post  Christine474 on 10/12/2012, 4:24 am

So... I'm assuming it's not against the rules (since it's not in the rules) to post a story that has self-harm in it. Obviously, I'm only 14 years old so I'm not going to write something very gory, but the concept is there. For this reason, read with caution. If you're not comfortable with it, please don't read.

Anyway! I'm writing a story on Wattpad, but it's a fan fiction. (I doubt anyone would want to read it, but if for some odd reason, you'd like to read it, I'll give you the link.) Because of that, I'm putting off starting something else, but I wrote a "one-shot" yesterday and I couldn't stand keeping it to myself. This would be the prologue to the story. Let me know what you think and I might continue it into a full story. (:

-----

With wide eyes, I just looked at him. His intent stare was enough to make me want to dart away as quick as possible, but I couldn't. I’d been running from my problems for too long. However hard it would be, I had to start facing them. His gaze was narrowing on me more by the second. I knew I had to speak at some point. Closing my mouth and opening it again, I was praying the words I wanted to form would roll off my tongue. His gaze flitted away from my terrified eyes and down to my wrists, softening as he did so. I knew what he wanted to hear. I just couldn't bear to lie. Lying to him seemed like as big of a crime as murder, though figuratively, I was about to murder him with words.

Sighing, I let myself look down, glancing at my wrists as he was. Seeing the red liquid beading up and sliding across my skin, I almost felt sick. How could I do this to myself? I've known it was wrong since the day I started. I knew he would be disappointed in me. I can’t stand the thought of hurting him, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to think about what it would do to him. Now, though, I wish I could take it all back and talk to him instead of letting me treat myself the way I am.

I tore my eyes from the sickening, red sight and, while avoiding his stare, opened a nearby cabinet, taking a towel and placing it over my arm, turning it crimson. His clammy hand reached out and covered mine, stopping me. He placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Why?” he whispered.

“I- I-,” my voice came out as a croaky whisper.

“Look at me,” he said, “in the eyes.” Hesitantly, I let my eyes settle on his ice blue ones. “You’re better than this. Why?”

“It- It’s a long story,” I trailed off.

“I have time,” he replied instantly. “Let’s clean this up and we’ll talk, yeah?”

Slowly, I nodded, allowing him to remove the towel from my arm to further clean the slits in my wrists. Not bearing to look at the sight, I instead watched him. His eyes were glistening, brimming with tears he didn't want to fall. I knew he wanted to be strong – for my sake. I swallowed the lump in my throat, closing my eyes, trying to find the words to say when the time came.
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Re: One-Shot...Thoughts?

Post  Breakthrough on 10/12/2012, 5:25 am

Christine474 wrote:So... I'm assuming it's not against the rules (since it's not in the rules) to post a story that has self-harm in it. Obviously, I'm only 14 years old so I'm not going to write something very gory, but the concept is there. For this reason, read with caution. If you're not comfortable with it, please don't read.

Anyway! I'm writing a story on Wattpad, but it's a fan fiction. (I doubt anyone would want to read it, but if for some odd reason, you'd like to read it, I'll give you the link.) Because of that, I'm putting off starting something else, but I wrote a "one-shot" yesterday and I couldn't stand keeping it to myself. This would be the prologue to the story. Let me know what you think and I might continue it into a full story. (:

-----

With wide eyes, I just looked at him. His intent stare was enough to make me want to dart away as quick as possible, but I couldn't. I’d been running from my problems for too long. However hard it would be, I had to start facing them. His gaze was narrowing on me more by the second. I knew I had to speak at some point. Closing my mouth and opening it again, I was praying the words I wanted to form would roll off my tongue. His gaze flitted away from my terrified eyes and down to my wrists, softening as he did so. I knew what he wanted to hear. I just couldn't bear to lie. Lying to him seemed like as big of a crime as murder, though figuratively, I was about to murder him with words.

Sighing, I let myself look down, glancing at my wrists as he was. Seeing the red liquid beading up and sliding across my skin, I almost felt sick. How could I do this to myself? I've known it was wrong since the day I started. I knew he would be disappointed in me. I can’t stand the thought of hurting him, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to think about what it would do to him. Now, though, I wish I could take it all back and talk to him instead of letting me treat myself the way I am.

I tore my eyes from the sickening, red sight and, while avoiding his stare, opened a nearby cabinet, taking a towel and placing it over my arm, turning it crimson. His clammy hand reached out and covered mine, stopping me. He placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Why?” he whispered.

“I- I-,” my voice came out as a croaky whisper.

“Look at me,” he said, “in the eyes.” Hesitantly, I let my eyes settle on his ice blue ones. “You’re better than this. Why?”

“It- It’s a long story,” I trailed off.

“I have time,” he replied instantly. “Let’s clean this up and we’ll talk, yeah?”

Slowly, I nodded, allowing him to remove the towel from my arm to further clean the slits in my wrists. Not bearing to look at the sight, I instead watched him. His eyes were glistening, brimming with tears he didn't want to fall. I knew he wanted to be strong – for my sake. I swallowed the lump in my throat, closing my eyes, trying to find the words to say when the time came.

Nice! Reminded me of the closing scene in Skyfall. But yeah, that is defiantly the kind of story/book I'd read. Nice one Smile.
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Re: One-Shot...Thoughts?

Post  Ccpenguin8 on 10/12/2012, 7:24 pm

Well, since you added the warning note at the top, it is not a violation. If you wrote a self-harm story without the warning, then it would be classed as inappropriate.

So, for the sake of our younger members, I won't review it. I will say, however, that you definitely have a future as a professional author. Smile

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